Try and keep your applause to a dull roar, but uh, the Joint is back. (cue music)

Believe me, I’m sure the time off was just as painful for me as it was for you. But what’s important now is that we come together as a party and in a show of unity, and declare Jeety’s Joint re-opened to the masses! Sorry… Hillary inspired me last night.

Speaking of, let’s just get right to it, shall we? The real reason I’m posting today is because of, and I don’t think it’s overstating it to call it startling news, the announcement that following the Democratic National Convention, presidential nominee Barack Obama with his newly-annointed vice presidential pick Joe Biden will kick off their battleground state tour in the epicenter of cultural activity, the vortex of American political thought, and the home of the longest-serving mayor in United States history. I am, of course, referring to none other than Beaver, Pennsylvania.

For my Pennsylvania readers, I’m sure you’ve already heard this. All 28 residents of Beaver have probably already discussed this unfolding event over this evening’s potluck. But for those of you outside of the Keystone State, I can’t really explain this. They’re holding the rally in “Irvine Park,” which is essentially my backyard. Since no one calls it Irvine Park in Beaver, let me clarify: it’s the gazebo park.

The candidates wives will be joining them at this stop, and according to the article, no signs are allowed. Apparently they don’t want anyone showing up with the following signs: “John McCain will destroy you here”, “Yinz Ain’t Welcome ‘nat” or “Center Township would have been a more thoughtful choice for locations, given its like-minded ideological views, especially its strong Catholic base, what with your choice of runningmate’s Catholic background.” ZING!

In other news, I’d like to get my picks in for McCain’s VP choice. I only have a few days, since he’s supposed to announcing on Friday, his something-birthday. In order of actual likelihood: Tim Pawlenty, Mitt Romney, Tom Ridge, Joe Lieberman. In order of who I’d pick: Lieberman, Ridge, Pawlenty, Romney. My concern is this: a conventional pick will hurt McCain more than Obama’s convetional pick (which, by the way, officially got him NO bump in the polls, prior to the DNC). McCain’s an old white man… he’s got to do something to shake things up, so you let Lieberman run with him. When they win, you kick Joey out and put in who you want for 2012, because it sounds like McCain might be a one-termer by choice. Why am I not pulling the strings?

We have so much to catch up on, but I’ll try and spare you. It’s a long year, and you’ll be annoyed with me by mid-next week, I’d say. Business as usual. It must be nice to have this kind of stability in something in life.